why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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