thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
