i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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