I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize