i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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