All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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