Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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