Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You've changed since you got that strap on
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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