More tranny stories later!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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