hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
