Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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