best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
