I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
