I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
