what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
