Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
