did you get engaged???
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
