I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
