Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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