No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
