Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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