you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
