"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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