I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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