my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
