after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
