It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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