Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
