i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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