i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
