Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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