Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
