so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
