I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
