i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
