Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
