would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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