Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
