This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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