Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
