I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My life is pants optional.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
