I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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