this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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