Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
