No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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