you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
