do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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