I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Randomize
