If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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