i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
