You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
