so explain again why im purple
no
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
