Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
