I heard we made out
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
