He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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