He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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