I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
