watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
