your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
