You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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