white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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