I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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