Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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