How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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