Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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