WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
