See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize